Trial of Errors
by Eliza-Lou-Riley
Summary: There is a spot of bother going on with the witch trials. Mainly being that Proctor is dangling from the ceiling, Giles Corey has a bucket stuck on his head and Hale has mysteriously turned into a two year old.


'Proctor,' snapped Danforth irritably, waving his fists at the ceiling, 'Get down from there so we can sentence you to death!'

'Uh yes, I'm finding that a tad tricky right now,' snapped John.

Somehow the waistband of his trousers had caught on a small metal hook and he had been hoisted upwards when Cheever adjusted the curtains (the room needed a bit of sunlight, he said.) John flailed his limbs wildly.

'SOMEONE HELP ME.'

Abigail batted her long eyelashes up at him, 'I could help-'

'Anyone other than the whore.'

Danforth mumbled a prayer under his breath.

'Ababababa…' chimed Hale happily.

No one was sure how this was possible but for some reason his two year old self was sat in the corner of the room, sucking on the edge of a bible.

'What is that gibberish he mumbles?' Ann Putnam gasped.

'Could it possibly be Lucifer's speech?' asked John Willard.

'It's baby talk, you bunch of ignoramuses.' Proctor called from the ceiling.

'Blasphemy,' gasped Parris as he glanced at the baby, who was clad in a pink onesie, 'What is this Devil's clothing?'

Danforth eyed the onesie that Hale was so proudly wearing, 'What is a _Hello Kitty_? Work of Satan, I say!'

Parris fainted very ungracefully, accidentally crushing Rebecca Nurse beneath him. While all this was going on, Giles Corey was darting around the room, scaring all the children; a bucket had somehow lodged itself over his head and now all he could see was black which turned him into a bit of a hazard. He crashed violently into Danforth, knocking over a bookshelf and Judge Hathorne in the process.

'GILES, STAND STILL!' John yelled as the man turned abruptly and sent Ezekiel Cheever flying.

'Will everybody please calm down?!' Danforth found that slamming down his hammer had no effect over the wave of noise as everything disrupted into its usual chaos.

'Oh Hale, Hale, what has become of you?' Parris had been fanned back to life with the many handkerchiefs provided by several members of his parish and now looked upon the toddler who was currently tearing out pages of the bible and crumpling them up in his little hands.

'GILES, STOP BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY!' Thomas Putnam seized the bucket and violently attempted to yank it off.

'This is ridiculous…' muttered Herrick, who had somehow ended up holding a trembling Cheever in his arms.

'People, people, we have witches to hunt!' yelled Danforth, banging his hammer harder, 'We all need to behave like adults here!'

'This things smells of wee…' Giles mumbled from underneath the bucket.

Hale crossed his legs guiltily, 'Oopsy…'

'Don't mind me,' Proctor muttered, beginning to turn in slow circles, 'Just hanging around…'

'We must destroy this Hello Kitty!' Danforth cried, grabbing Hale and holding him up to the court in Lion-King style, 'Before its wrath of pinkness destroys us all!'

Everyone screamed and fell to the floor as if a bomb had hit. Hale giggled with excitement at being the centre of attention.

'I say we stone the baby!' cried Francis Nurse.

'You can't stone baby!' said Tituba (who was meant to be in jail,) snatching Hale from Danforth.

Despite his catatonic state, Parris managed to mutter, 'Oh yes we can.'

'No! No stoning! Absolutely not!' Yelled Proctor, beginning to kick.

'Putnam, you're not pulling hard enough on that bucket!' Herrick growled and tossed Cheever over to Judge Hathorne, 'Here, hold this.'

Danforth's yelp and Abigail's excited squeal were both heard in unison as John's trousers finally tore from the hook, releasing him but also removing the clothing from his lower half. It was the sort of day that made him deeply regret not wearing any underwear, as he landed safely on Rebecca Nurse who had just managed to crawl out from underneath Parris.

'BLACK CAT!' someone screamed and everyone hid under the benches as the smallest black kitten in the world came padding in, wondering what all the noise was about.

'Eyo Kittay!' Hale squealed, going and picking up his new pet.

Needless to say, there was a lot of cleaning up to do afterwards.


End file.
